So here is the text of the toast I gave at my oldest Godson’s wedding rehearsal dinner tonight. While it’s intensely personal I think it’s a witness to the reality of how love spreads in our lives.
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First I want to thank Paul and Vicki for this wonderful dinner and evening; it is very gracious of you and it has been a wonderful evening so far.
Brian, I can tell you that just by the fact I standing here to offer a toast your mom’s blood pressure just skyrocketed and she is probably breaking into a cold sweat while praying under her breath, “Brian, please don’t listen to a word he says!” And no doubt the hairs on your dad’s …..back are standing on ends. This is ALL for good reason as you have heard the horrible stories they have told about me over the years.
But rather than live into their fears, I think I will surprise them with words from my heart to you and Jessica.
September 1974, I meet the hairiest 8th grader in the world. Not to mention his gigantic white man’s fro. He had huge dimples when he would laugh and smile at my jokes; and he was known for being as nice as he was hairy and very soon I loved him as my friend and brother.
Four years later I am trying to talk this friend, your dad, into going to college way up in the mountains of N. GA that did not even have a traffic light in the entire county. I had visited on a beautiful sunny perspective student weekend. There were pretty girls that despite our worst fears about any gal who would attend such a remote school did in fact actually have all of their teeth! I immediately liked Young Harris.
My best friend on the other hand visits the campus on a cold, rainy winter day when class was not in session – no one was around and he might as well have been visiting Siberia, or worse than that the campus at Georgia Tech.
My enthusiasm prevailed and Paul also decided to attend YHC, and I loved him for it. We moved into our dorm room. Our parents helped move us up of course. My father and mother helped me unload my stuff and dropped it all on my bed and my side of the room. Pat and Angie are bringing in Paul’s stuff and Angie – God bless you – begins to make Paul’s bed. Mmmm, I thought, and I cut my eyes at my own mom as it to say, “touch my stuff and you die!!” Paul remained neat and tidy all four years of college and even took my laundry home a time or two where Angie would wash, dry, fold and send it back with a note which read, “Brad, next time turn your socks right side out!” The laundry always was accompanied with a box full of the best banana bread that I have ever eaten. I loved Paul for his mom. And more importantly, I loved you Angie as a second mother.
Pat on the other hand…. Pat took ever opportunity he could to tease Paul and me about this silly fraternity that we joined. And we generally wanted to beat the crap out of him for the teasing. It was a few years later when Pat and I fell in love as we found very mutual ground in our liberal views of the world. Pat, I’m still praying for David.
And speaking of David, I lived with him also, for 2 years after college. And I love him too….But, Angie that boy was the nastiest human being to have to live with and I having put up with his ridiculous antics as his roommate, I could have understood years ago why you may have very well have just given up on him!
And of course there was little beautiful Jennifer. Paul endured more highly inappropriate banter and teasing about his baby sister from Joe, Ronnie and me than any older brother should have to endure – and look, she has grown to be just the beautiful (and HOT I might add, Paul) woman we knew she would be!
Back to Young Harris College. It was very early on in our first semester that a woman, a girl for crying out loud, tried to crack her way into the rock that was Paul’s and my friendship. Was this bouncy, bright eyed brunette with the world’s crappiest and ugliest car going to survive the love Paul and I had for each other??? The stories I could tell on your mother are endless, Brian (And right now she’s breaking into cold sweats again). But the reality is I fell in love with her BECAUSE Paul did and she knows I would give up a kidney or more for her if she ever needed it.
So, in 1983 after 2 years at YHC and 2 more at UGA, Paul and Vicki do what was as natural a thing to do as breathing is for you and me; they solidify their love in marriage and they ride off in the sunset only to leave me to have to live with that nasty brother of his!
One year later, August 1984, I have just finished a training course with Outward Bound and I drop by your parents house. And your dad walks to me and hands me this tiny lump of flesh – and you opened your eyes, and I fell in love. I fell in love because my brother and my sister had this gift in their life that was a celebration of everything they were together. (I have to admit I did give you a looks over to see if you had a hairy back and premature beard growth).
Like the days when I first met your dad, I fell in love. Like the days when your dad fell in love with your mom, and I fell in love with her too, on that day in August of 1984, I fell in love with you Brian.
Five years later you carried this ring down the aisle, along with Harriett’s on the day of our wedding. 20 years after that day this year, and three children of my own, so many more people to have fallen in love with along the way, and then I have the great joy of speaking on the phone and then finally meeting this beautiful woman named Jessica and I immediately fell in love. Fact is Jessica, I probably loved you before we ever spoke. I fell in love with her because you had Brian. But quickly and easily we fell in love with Jessica as her own person.
Brian and Jessica, I am only 1 person of many whom have fallen in love with the two of you. There is a room full of people here who have done just that. And this event tonight and tomorrow is a real and true celebration for everyone of us who love you. There will be times tomorrow during the wedding (what time is the wedding? oh right) there will be times tomorrow when you feel like it is only about the two of you – It is not – we (WE) are in this with you as intently as the beauty in your eyes Jessica, as the dimples in your cheeks Brian, as thick as the hair on your dad’s back, Brian! (haha)
So (RAISE Glass) to the both of you in whom we celebrate life and love and the gift God has given to us in you. You see, the two of you are a living reality of God’s love for each of us. May you know the joy in one another that we have in our hearts for you. I love you! Cheers!